


Why Did We Think This Would Be A Good Idea?

by Cheshirekitten87



Series: Peter and Ned's Prank Calling Adventures... [1]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Happy Hogan Can't Catch a Break, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Ned is too, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is a Little Shit, Prank Calls, Precious Peter Parker, Sleepovers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a Proud Dad, We all knew this though, Worried Ned Leeds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23443606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshirekitten87/pseuds/Cheshirekitten87
Summary: It had been a simple plan, really. Prank call the Avengers. There's no way that could go wrong...
Relationships: Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Peter and Ned's Prank Calling Adventures... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694824
Comments: 11
Kudos: 154





	Why Did We Think This Would Be A Good Idea?

**Author's Note:**

> Oof I'm back! Thought y'all could use some humor rn. Definitely not my best work but I tried. I'd say this fic is for April Fools but I'm late and I'd be lying. Enjoy!

"Wait, how'd you get the numbers again?" Peter asked walking into his best friends room, shutting the door behind him and setting his bag down on the floor next to the desk.

"I told you, I did a few things that may or may not have been illegal..." Ned replied turning around to sit on his bed.

"Ned!"

"Okay okay, it wasn't illegal...it just wasn't necessarily my best moment..." He reasoned. Peter glanced at him, warning him. "Okay, when I turned off the baby monitor protocol last week I found the Avenger's numbers in some of the coding and I may have...stolen-well I wouldn't say that, but more like borrowed them."

"I have the Avenger's numbers...in my suit?!" Peter spoke, voice barely above a whisper as he processed it. Ned only shrugged.

"Yeah, and now we have them in our phones, so, you wanna call?" He glanced over at the teen next to him. Peter held his gaze before turning away to stare at the floor. 

"I don't know...don't they have Avenger..y stuff to do?" He asked timidly, rubbing his arm.

"At midnight on a Saturday? Probably. But come on it'll be fun, they probably won't answer anyway."

"um...yeah..probably." He shrugged. Only a few seconds later his eyes widened slightly and he jumped up. "We can't call Mr Stark though!"

"Obviously. He'd be like 'isn't it past your bedtime?' and you'd be like 'but Mr Stark it's Saturday.' and he'd be like 'well why are you calling me then?' and you'd be like-" 

"Okay, Ned I get it!" Peter laughed as he swatted Ned's arm in an effort to stop him from embarrassing him further. He knew it was true though. Instead of entertaining the thought he grabbed Ned's phone off the bed and held it at eye level between the two of them. "Let's just...call them I guess."

"Yes!" Ned pumped an arm in the air before snatching the phone away and getting it set up.

The first number that was dialed by the hands of them was Captain America's which left them both in a ball of anxiety. Every ring was even more nerve-wracking than the first. Peter sat with his legs crossed while his fingers fiddled with the sheets and his eyes traveled up to meet Ned's every so often. The confidence Ned had when he'd first suggested the idea had already faded leaving him to copy Peter's nervous movements.

They both let out a relieved breath when it went to voicemail.

There was a small moment where they both hesitated to touch the phone after that, but it was soon overpowered by their desire to continue. 

The next was The Falcon. Just when they had thought they'd finally built up enough confidence to reply if the phone was answered, the ringing stopped. Their hearts were beating so rapidly and loudly Peter probably could've heard them without his enhanced hearing.

"Hello?" Ned looked at Peter who returned the favor and brought the phone closer to his mouth. The voice rang out again.

"Hello? You there?" Ned brought the phone closer to his face to speak when there suddenly was laughter. "Imma have to take a rain check on this call cause you just got pranked! Leave a voicemail or whatever and I'll get back to you soon." Peter on his back laughing before Ned even got the chance to hang up. 

After that...incident, they dialed the next person on the lists number. Hawkeye.

The phone didn't ring that long before he picked up. They both froze, Peter tilted his head mouthing 'Is it actually him?' to Ned who shrugged and looked back towards the phone, waiting for a sign that it was the real Hawkeye.

"Heyo" The voice answered sounding suspiciously cheerful and very much awake. Ned nodded the slightest bit towards Peter where a smile made it's way onto his face as he tried to prepare himself for what was to come.

Ned took a deep breath, composing himself enough to where he could fake a southern accent.

Which is exactly what he did.

"Howdy sir, you wouldn't happen to be a...Goofy Goober would you?" He asked with a serious face (Don't ask peter how he did it.) in an accent that wasn't his own. Peter started giggling uncontrollably and slapped a hand over his mouth leaning forward to press his face into the bed to stop himself from being loud enough where Clint could hear him.

The next few moments were silent.

Then,

"Are you kidding me!? I just had this conversation yesterday!" 

Peter couldn't stop himself this time and laughed so loudly that the next door neighbor probably heard him. Ned quickly hung up to save himself from being caught too and dropped the phone, laughing just as loudly as his best friend.

The next few minutes were spent trying to get each other to calm down which failed miserably. Each time someone talked the other would start laughing harder which made it practically impossible for them to stop. They eventually did though and dialed the next number on the list.

Peter flipped out when he found out it was Bruce Banner's number, Ned could practically hear every one of Peter's silent pleas that he wouldn't answer. If he were anyone else he would've laughed at how big of a deal Peter was making out of it. Though he wasn't anyone else and he knew how big of a deal it really was to him.

It wasn't long before the call was rejected. Ned didn't know whether that was good or bad but he didn't miss the way Peter practically melted from pure relief.

When it came time for Thor's number, both teens both argued over who would pick up if he answered.

"I already did it!"

"Well, what if I answer and he remembers my voice and then I meet him as Spiderman and he knows it was me who called him and he hates me forever!" Peter rambled not hearing how ridiculous it sounded. Ned rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"Come on that's a little far fetched, don't you think? There's no way he could hate you forever, only for like a little while."

"Ned. He's a God!"

"So?"

"So, I don't wanna be cursed if he finds out!"

"Fine fine, I'll answer..."

The phone only rang twice before it was answered. Though it wasn't Thor's voice.

"Hello?" The voice asked. And instead of answering like what had been planned Ned threw the phone into Peter's lap. Mouthing 'you answer' while shuffling away from him with his arms raised. Peter shook his head vigorously, eyes wide as he picked up the phone, hand shaking like crazy. 

"Hello?" The voice asked a little more impatiently this time. He opened his mouth to speak but all that could come out was a small squeak that translated into hello. A sigh made itself known through the phone.

"If this is another one of those silly little prank calls I will find you, and I shall have you know that when I do it will not-" Peter's eyes met Ned's as he brought his hand away from the phone where he had just hung up.

"Was that Loki?"

"Ned!"

"What?"

"What do you _mean_ 'was that Loki'?" His voice cracked on the last word.

"I mean, it sounded like him..."

"Oh my- Do you know what this means!?"

"You just hung up on a God?" Ned asked excitedly, straightening up on the bed.

"It _means_ I- wait what? Oh my Gods I just-I hung up on a God!! And you let me!? I'm so dead oh man I'm so dead, I-" His voice was high and cracking with every other word. Ned rolled his eyes once again at his friend's dramatics.

"Peter it's probably fine, I mean you heard him, they probably get lots of calls like that. Besides you'll probably never meet Loki as Spiderman."

"What if I do!?" Ned put a hand on his friend's shoulder and met Peter's terrified gaze with his somber one.

"Well then, nice knowing you soldier, it's been an honor."

After that there were only two left to call, War Machine, and Black Widow.

"She's Black Widow! She'll probably know who were are and where we are before it's even done ringing!" 

"That is true...Which is why you should probably go in another room for this. I'll wait here." Ned nodded his head and pursed his lips.

"What? Why me!?" 

"Because, if she happens to find out who called her and does want to kill them, you'll have a better chance of survival then I will."

"Ned." 

"Peter."

"Fine. I'll answer, but I'm staying in here." Peter stomped his foot stubbornly on the ground as if it made a difference whether or not he'd stay. Ned smiled.

"Deal."

It only rang once before they were rejected.

"She's probably tracking our location right now!" Peter shrieked, pacing around the room.

"Throw the phone out the window!" Ned yelled back from the bed.

 _"What?"_ Peter stopped pacing and looked at Ned, confused.

"Peter, throw the phone out the window!" 

"No! I don't wanna break it!"

"Just do it! I don't wanna die!" Ned cried out in true panic.

"Don't say that! Were not gonna die...we'll just be severely injured..." Peter informed him staring at the ground.

"Peter!! Just throw the phone! It'll be-"

"What's that gonna do Ned!? She probably already knows where we are! She's probably on her way over here right now!" Peter shouted over the top of Ned's demands.

"I'm gonna die...were gonna die...we're so dead, we're literally the walking dead right now." Ned lowered his voice into a panicked whisper. Peter could still hear every word he said clear as day though.

"Don't say that it'll be fine, it'll be fine...when she shows up, I'll...I'll distract her while you run. Don't look back just run, got it?" He said holding the serious expression he had going for approximately four seconds before they were both laughing again. Once they had calmed down enough to the point where they could talk, Peter continued.

"Okay okay, let's call Mr Rhodes...before Black Widow _actually_ shows up here."

After it was dialed, they sat there, heads down, waiting for the inevitable voicemail they would soon be directed to. When it instead clicked into an actual call, both their heads snapped up to stare at it. It was silent for a moment. No one moved.

Then suddenly there was some rustling from the other end and a muffled 'no' then before they knew it, without warning, the call suddenly switched to video. Ned froze, eyes wide n fear. Peter looked about the same, with the look of a deer caught in headlights. 

Though the face that appeared was not in fact Colonel Rhodes but Tony Stark. He had a small smirk on his face as he stared straight through the screen.

"Hey Pete." He greeted, smirk growing into a full blown smile. 

"Mr Stark?!" Peter yelped pulling himself out of the initial shock of seeing his mentor's face on the screen. "Wh-what are you-we didn't-I wasn't-"

"Wasn't what, expecting me to answer? Yeah, well Rhodey here wasn't feeling up to the conversation." He moved the screen over to the latter who in turn waved towards the screen looking defeated but amused. "Anyway-" He started turning the screen back towards himself. "It's late, shouldn't you be in bed already, and is that...Ted, I see over there?"

"It's Saturday Mr Stark and yeah, Ned, I'm staying at his house." He explained looking back at his friend who's mouth was hanging open.

"Why're you calling Rhodey then? And with Fred's phone I'm assuming?" Tony's eye twitched as he asked the question as if he already knew Peter was going to give him an answer he didn't like.

"Well, um I- _we_ were just-" Peter started, though Tony's face suddenly became unreadable.

"Peter Benjamin Parker, tell me you weren't."

"...weren't...?" Peter tilted his head and furrowed his brows in confusion. Tony gave him a pointed look though and he knew he'd been caught. He thought about denying it but there was no point Tony would get the truth out of him somehow.

"Okay okay, yeah we were prank calling the Avengers...but I swear I didn't mean for it to mess up anything-" 

"I'm so proud." Tony said dramatically as if he were about to cry.

"We were just trying out the new-wait what?"

"You heard me."

"But why..exactly?" Peter couldn't pin point any reason Tony would be proud of him for prank calling the Avengers which is probably the equivalent to prank calling the cops if he really thought about it.

"Dedication. I can't imagine how many times you two must've freaked out..." Tony trailed off shaking his head and rolling his eyes playfully. "Anyway me and Honeybear here, have got things to do, places to be, I'll send you another number you can go crazy with." He then brought his gaze over to Ned who still seemed to be intimidated by the fact that Tony stark was talking to them from _his_ phone. "Ned keep him out of too much trouble alright? Alright. Bye." And with that the call was terminated leaving Ned to nod towards the blank screen.

Peter flopped his back onto the bed and groaned. When he looked up, he glared at Ned who was now looking at him with all the satisfaction of a five year old who'd just experienced Disney World for the first time.

"This. Is. All. Your. Fault." He whined, and promptly let his head fall back onto the bed again.

The phone buzzed once displaying a message with a number. Peter looked at it cautiously before turning his head towards Ned again.

"Why do I feel like this is a trap."

"It probably is. But it'll be worth it cause...Tony Stark." Ned reasoned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Peter shrugged. "Mm True." And with that he copy and pasted the number and pressed the call button.

"Alright last one, here it goes..."

A few second later a voice that was all too familiar answered.

"Happy Hogan speaking."

**Click.**

**Author's Note:**

> Leave your thoughts down in the comments! Kudos are appreciated! 
> 
> This is totally not a distraction from a better, larger, more interesting, fic coming sometime in the future...not at all...


End file.
